May 24 Invest in a Skins Ice Suit – it cools down as you heat up. Really! Go Sports, Mall of the Emirates, 04 341 3251.
May 25 Get tickets for theatre production Umoja – The Spirit Of Togetherness. This self-proclaimed ‘celebration of life’ should cheer you up.
May 26 Pop to Dubai’s only ice bar, Chill Out, in Times Square. Minus six degrees isn’t pleasant, but it’s worth it for the photos. 04 341 8121.
May 27 Swing a round of indoor golf at the 50+ simulated golf courses inside Sheikh Zayed Road’s Crowne Plaza. 04 331 1111.
May 28 Time to see if Winslet deserved that statue for The Reader, in cinemas today.
May 29 Laugh your head off at comedians Sugar Sammy, Daliso Chaponda and Wonho Chung at Ductac. Then catch Calvin Harris afterwards at Alpha.
May 30 Head to the Hatta Pools for an early morning dip. Even better, go on a trek and absorb the lush greenery. Net Tours, from Dhs300.
May 31 Enjoy one of the last nights at 360° before the summer closure with a banging house set from Conan Manchester. 04 406 8744.
June 1 Quick – get to Bernhard Buhmann’s neo-baroque works at Carbon 12 in Marina View Towers before the exhibition ends on June 8. 050 873 9623.
June 2 Find out why everyone’s banging on about The Wire: 60 episodes = 60 hours of gripping drama.
June 3 Express your summer woes with paint at thejamjar, and enjoy photos of Subodh Kerkar’s installations on the beaches of Goa until June 6. 04 341 7303. June 4 His show’s called Good Times Live, for Pete’s sake. Norman Jay’s set at The Warehouse should definitely live up to its name.
June 5 Head over to The Music Room to hear Nine Below Zero, a blues-rock act, 04 359 8888. Or, watch the whole of 24, Season 7 on Showtime.
June 6 Whose Line Is It Anyway? is back at the Madinat. Challenge the Comedy Store Players to act out Dubai’s summer cabin fever. Oh, go on.
June 7 Head to the beach at dusk. It’s hot, but bearable, and the water’s just lovely.
June 8 Go to Manila – the bar. Manila 365 hosts ‘formidable’ Filipino karoake sessions every night. Ramee Guestline, Deira 04 295 8777.
June 9 Fill a paddling pool (Carrefour and Géant both have great deals) with ice water. Place in shaded spot. Pour refreshing drink. Wallow.
June 11 Experience the sheer randomness of Al Saheel: The Voice Of The Horse at the Dubai Polo & Equestrian Club. It will make the summer season seem less insane. Until June 27, from Dhs110.
June 12 Catch actors enacting fairytales, including Cinderella, and stories from the Holy Qu’ran in World Of Stories – on until June 23. www.mydsf.com.
June 13 Rearrange your home a room at a time. Hibernating will feel that much more bearable. Call Feng Shui expert Vicky Moane for tips on how to do it properly. 050 646 1417.
June 14 Summer wardrobes demand good T-shirts, so invest in a few from ace design store Graniph. Festival Centre, 04 232 8531.
June 15 Watch new episodes of Ugly Betty, series three on Showtime. Did you miss Marc as much as we did?
June 16 Climb the walls – literally – at Dubai’s World Trade Centre. 04 436 8100.
June 17 Swim with dolphins at Atlantis for a ‘so Dubai’ moment. 04 426 0000. June 18 Go shell hunting on the beach in the morning when it’s low tide.
June 19 Make a playlist of your top summer songs and then listen to it while dangling your legs in the pool (we’re loving ‘Bulletproof’ by La Roux at the moment).
June 20 Spend the day watching movies back-to-back in the cinema – never mind square eyes. If you’ve got the cash, splash it on Gold Class at Mall of the Emirates or Festival City.
June 21 Last year S*uce offered ice lollies to shoppers. Have a look-see at what they have up for grabs this year. Village Mall, 04 344 7270, Dubai Mall, 04 339 9696.
June 22 It was made for summer: Ski Dubai. Even if you just want to roll about in snow for a bit. 04 409 4000.
June 23 Create your own vegetable garden: aubergines, basil and radish all grow in the summer here and it’s very therapeutic. For green-fingered tips, head for The Garden Centre on Sheikh Zayed Road, 04 340 0006.
June 24 Head to the Courtyard in The Palace hotel. Somehow it remains cool outside throughout the summer. 04 428 7888.
June 25 Marvel as big robots tear up America in Transformers 2.
June 26 Chill with a massage at International City’s Express Unwind. 04 430 8304.
June 27 Check out the works of talented local Sheila and Abaya designers at their show, until June 30. www.mydsf.com.
June 28 Find out what obsesses Dubai with memorabilia exhibition The Collectors from June 27-August 7. www.mydsf.com.
June 29 Did you know Ibn Battuta offers trips in a hot air balloon? 04 362 1901.
July 9 Arts Oasis is a chance to meet international artists. This year’s focuses on global warming. www.mydsf.com.
July 10 Get inspired at the Junior Chef of the Year Awards. Until July 14. www.mydsf.com.
July 11 Pencil in an overnight stay at Al Maha Desert Resort, it’ll be about 10 degrees cooler. 04 303 4222.
July 12 There are five seasons of Six Feet Under. That’s 63 hours of fatal fun.
July 13 Gobble Frederic-James Fitoussi’s premium gelato from stands in Ibn Battuta Mall, Deira City Centre or Mall of the Emirates. July 14 Madicts are people who love US drama Mad Men. Become one, and enjoy 26 hours of ’60s New York nostalgia.
July 15 Alternatively, if you’re into violence, DVD-it-up with Dexter for 24 hours of gore.
July 16 The speccy one is back in Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince. There’s no stopping the wizardry. July 17 Score points with the UAE Scrabble Club – check out the group on Facebook.
July 18 Swim with sharks and 30,000 other species in The Dubai Aquarium. It’s perfectly safe (really!). 04 437 3200.
July 30 Hold a board game night. Cranium, Monopoly, Who’s Who – whatever incites vicious rivalry. July 31 Drive to the top of Jebel Hafeet in Al Ain, and then down to the wadi at the bottom for the lower temperature and sense of escape.
August 1 Have a stab at a sailing class with Dusail. 04 394 9146.
August 2 Learn to play an instrument and start a band. Call The Music Institute for lessons and a rehearsal space. 04 4243818. Then check out our Music section to find like-minded musicians.
August 3 Get into linen. We recommend Bur Dubai’s Kachins for top, breathable clothing. 04 352 1246.
August 4 Personalise a plate at Café Ceramique to commemorate your steadfast refusal to let summer win. Maybe write ‘air con is bliss’. Jumeirah branch 04 344 7331, Mall of the Emirates. 04 341 0144.
August 5 Feel like the last people left in Dubai? Catch Battlestar Galactica and empathise: 75 episodes means 52.5 hours of cultural sci-fi.
August 6 To commemorate HH Sheikh Zayed Day, nose around Bur Dubai’s Sheikh Saeed Al Maktoum House to see how UAE royalty live. 04 393 7139.
August 7 National Geographic participate in DSS’s Photography Exhibition, open to all local snappers. Until August 13. www.mydsf.com.
August 8 Try out a cooking class at Traiteur or Thai Kitchen. Teach a man to fish, and all that. Dhs295,04 602 1804.
August 9 New week, new skills: enrol in one of the 30 language courses offered at the Eton Institute, from Arabic to Russian to Farsi. www.eton.ac.
August 10 Jumeirah Beach Hotel boasts a Mr Whippy ice cream machine. And no, it’s not only for five-year-olds. Get whippin’! 04 348 0000.
August 11 Head to the Dubai Marina. Run through the fountains (the ones that kids are normally playing in). Who cares if you look unhinged?
August 12 Invest in Carolina Herrera’s 212 Sexy Man aftershave, from all good scent shops. Waaay better than perspiration.
August 15 Make like it’s a cold winter day and cook a Saturday roast. Check out www.jamieoliver.com for suggestions on how to get the recipe spot on.
August 16 Drive over to Sharjah and try out the Eye of the Emirates big wheel. There’s bound to be cool winds that high up. We think.
August 17 Head for the clouds in a Seawings seaplane. The views are fantastic and it’s definitely cooler up there. 04 883 2999.
August 18 Dive-In Movies is an outdoor cinema where you watch films from an inflatable chair in the Montgomerie hotel’s pool. Almost too good to be true. 04 390 5600.
August 19 Go for a powerwalk at night (with plenty of water). Convince yourself that because you’re sweating so much, you’re burning twice as many calories. Ahem.
August 20 Ramadan is forecast to begin. If you’re not Muslim, try fasting (sensibly) for the first day as a show of solidarity with other Dubai residents.
August 21 May the iftars begin! Last year, Four Seasons Golf Club’s Arabic-Asian offering was economical and palatable. 04 601 0101.
August 22 The One&Only Royal Mirage hosted two climate-controlled iftars last year for only Dhs150. Let’s hope they beat that in ’09. 04 399 9999.
August 23 Get lost for hours at The Dubai Mall’s immense book store Kinokuniya. 04 434 0011.
August 24 Fancy David Duchovny playing a fun-time novelist in a sharp, modern comedy? Take in six hours of edgy fun with Californication.
August 25 Get up at 6am and go for an early morning swim in the sea. Nothing starts the day better.
August 26 Magic Planet is not just for kids. Get on that hoop machine and wild elephants won’t be able to tear you away. 04 295 4333.
August 27 Lounge at home and read Between The Assassinations, the follow up to Aravind Adaga’s Booker Prize-winning The White Tiger. Then feel clever. August 28 Sign up for a wakeboarding lesson at Cassells Hotel in Ghantoot. Once you’re up it’s like walking on water. Unbeatable. 050 768 9504.
August 29 Head over to Abu Dhabi Health and Fitness Club and go indoor skydiving. Now there’s a breeze. www.bluebanana.com.
August 30 You may not have heard of US series The Huff, but you should have. An addictive psychological drama, this makes for 13 hours of fun.
September 7 Make some ice lollies, using real fruits for added flavourful fabulousness. Mmm.
September 8 Carry out a random act of kindness. Make cookies for your neighbour. Be kind on the roads. Pay someone a compliment. Watch the good vibes spread.
September 9 Get on The Metro! Then explore Burj Dubai! Dubai is set to change forever today.
September 10 Plan a Thursday night out using The Metro, just because you can. September 11 You have our permission to sleep all day long if you wish.
September 12 Get to Jumeirah Mosque for 10am and learn the basics of Islam for Dhs10. It could change your understanding of Dubai life forever. 04 353 6666.
September 13 Join the Old Library at Mall of the Emirates. At over 30 years old, it’s ancient in Dubai terms. 04 341 4777.
September 14 Host a Wii party. If you don’t own one, find someone who does and get bowling. Or hold a private yoga session. It’s seriously addictive living room fun.
September 15 It’s finally slightly cooling off! Go forth and enjoy the great outdoors. No mall trawling allowed for at least a month. Events and films all subject to change by organisers. Call ahead for details.