1 You get sweat patches behind your knees. Ick.

2 You can’t open the window in a taxi without the driver snapping it shut immediately to trap the AC inside.

3 Your hair fuzzes 1cm higher in the two-minute walk between your car and the office.

4 Even buildings are sweating (humidity condensation drips down the windows).

5 You apply sun cream, and it instantly turns into water.

6 You avoid any metal accessories – just in case they start scalding you.

7 You get third degree burns getting into the car.

8 You would consider hanging out in Ski Dubai’s Snow Park.

9 Your tan starts to fade.

10 You only go to places where AC-to-AC is possible.

11 You can’t decide whether you should be covering up to survive the AC or wearing shorts and T-shirts to avoid boiling to death.

12 You start stockpiling deodorant in your desk drawer.

13 You find yourself in a shopping mall… again.

14 Everyone says ‘this summer is the hottest ever’. It’s actually the same as the last 20 years.

15 You see people running round Safa Park in the day and wonder how they don’t die.

16 The beach is empty in the day and full at sunset.

17 You join a gym. You go twice.

18 Your air conditioning breaks down.

19 You resolve to go on an exotic, adventure holiday that involves trekking and white water rafting. Then bow to family guilt trips and go home instead.

20 The battle for seats at Lime Tree Café switches to indoors.

21 There’s little point in ironing anything.

22 You vow to get up an hour earlier to enjoy the cool of the morning. And then don’t.

23 You no longer feel guilty for staying indoors all day.

24 Local hotels offer deals so good they’re practically carrying you inside.

25 You think you can’t last until September. It actually passes without you noticing, and it’s winter again. Hurrah!