Here in Dubai, it’s easy to get accustomed to wacky venues – space age furnishings, palatial glitz and fire-breathing waiters could almost be called commonplace. Yet Velocity must take some kind of wacky biscuit. Like a vision of the future, as imagined in 1985: a curved bar sits in the centre of the main room, adorned with curved spirals sailing out above. Calling itself an ‘entertainment lounge’, seven flat screen TVs blare sports and MTV on every wall, while metallic pop jangles repetitively. Accessed through an imposing black space recalling a laser quest battle room, there’s a comparatively normal smoking room upstairs, but for the full Marty McFly kick stick down below.