It’s a game of two halves, it’s a funny old game, it’s not a matter of life and death - it’s more important than that.

Yes, it’s Euro 2008 and I would be quaking in my size nine boots if England’s disjointed misanthropes had somehow squeaked into the final. They haven’t, which means I get to watch the tournament for its beauty, pizazz, style and theatrics, and raise a nonchalant wise old eyebrow as I watch my European amis get themselves all in a tizz. I may even attempt to muster support for Romania - my wife’s team - but I probably won’t manage - after seeing them defeat England twice in the recent past. The hurt lingers on. (Plus, wife never lets me forget).

One thing I will not be short of this Euro 2008 is organisation - not because I have overnight developed the efficiencies and time keeping skills I have always yearned for, but because I have at my fingertips a complete guide to the event - where to go, when to go, who to see, and which players to look out for. And, this is the good part, you do to - because we are publishing The Euro 2008 Guide right here, right now.

You will find everything you need to know about the event - the event calendar, details about the stadium, ‘golden players’ to watch out for - plus scores on the door as we progress through the tournament.

If you have any comments about the event, our guide, or just the quality of the football as we progress through the tournament - we would love to get your comments.

Simply post them here…

The distant echo -
of faraway voices boarding faraway trains
To take them home to
the ones that they love and who love them forever
The glazed, dirty steps - repeat my own and reflect my thoughts
Cold and uninviting, partially naked
Except for toffee wrappers and this morning’s papers
Mr. Jones got run down
Headlines of death and sorrow - they tell of tomorrow
Madmen on the rampage
And I’m down in the tube station at midnight…

Anyone old enough to remember the first time The Jam’s Down in the tube station at Midnight crackled its way through a mono radio will just have had shivers run down their spine, an electric shock course through their cortex, and a wave of nostalgia that only the news that Paul Weller, ex Jam front man, will be playing at Dubai Desert Rhythm will shake them from.

Yes, it’s fact - the Modfather will be headlining this year’s festival, continuing his sold out UK tour based on his 9th newest solo-album 22 Dreams. The album, released in June (featuring Noel Gallagher, Gem Archer, ex-Blur guitarist Graham Coxon and more), continues Weller’s return to form after his lost, sickly years with The Style Council.

According to the organisers Jam material will be on the play list. You heard it here first…

Dubai Desert Rhythm Festival runs this year from October 31st and November 1st 2008.

Tickets are now on pre-sale on www.desertrhythmfestival.com.

A table at The Ivy, according to AA Gill, is still one of the most sought-after pieces of furniture in London - a considerable achievement for a restaurant that opened in 1917, in a city where restaurants open and close as frequently as Gordon Ramsey utters obscenities.

In fact Dubai was a mere spec of humanity when the establishment first opened its doors, an obscure footnote in National Geographic - which itself had been in existence for a mere 29 years.

A boring historical meander, but for one thing. The Ivy is coming to Dubai.

Delivering the institution is Tatweer, who want to add a bit of glam to its Dubailand project. The Ivy, where celebrities usually clamor inelegantly to secure an evening spot, should do just that. It will certainly bring out those in Dubai who want to be seen in all the right places…

Tatweer will also bring in sister restaurant, Le Caprice, which is located behind the Ritz in the St James’s area of London. Like The Ivy, it should do well in the emirate as a place to be seen.

No news yet on Caprice Holdings’ J. Sheekey’s, a wonderful, old style fish restaurant which is less a place to be a star, and more a place to eat.

For those of you who want a taste of the future, herewith The Ivy’s Roasts and Grills menu. Prices are in sterling - despite its celebrity, it’s still remarkably good value - and down to earth.

Roasts and Grills

11.50 The Ivy hamburger with dill pickle and club sauce
*
13.75 Pork sausages and mash with onion gravy
*
16.50 Grilled chicken breast with smoked aubergine and chickpea relish
*
16.75 Slow-roasted Blythburgh pork belly with black pudding hash
*
19.75 Grilled calf’s liver and dried-cured bacon
*
24.75 New season Cornish lamb with minted vegetables & madeira sauce
*
24.75 Veal T-Bone chop with anchovy butter
*
26.75 Bannockburn rib steak served on the bone with allumettes and bèarnaise sauce
*
38.50 Roast poulet des Landes with Madeira jus and dauphin potato for two persons

One restaurant I hope they never bring to Dubai is ‘Rules’, London’s oldest and most welcoming restaurant, which first opened in 1798. Not because it’s not fabulous, it is, but because infused with the food is its history, and local produce from its own farm, which unlike celebrity, could not survive new world translation.

Art - you can’t beat it, but, you can burn it, which is what Pablo Picasso, the father of post-modern paintings did to keep himself warm as a struggling artist. I bring this to your attention because many of the paintings that survived his own personal conflagration can be seen for the first time in the UAE in Abu Dhabi - a superb treat for the thousands of art lovers across the Emirates.

Picasso had his first exhibition at the tender age of 13 - albeit in the back room of an umbrella store - so during his full 90 plus years he managed an odd masterpiece or two. In fact a total of 186 works will be displayed at the Gallery One of Emirates Palace until September, many of which are said to display the connection that Spain has with the Arabic world, especially the south of the country.

Abu Dhabi is setting itself up as the art capital of the Middle East which means we should get more of these kinds of treats. It is a massive coup for the capital to have pulled this off - Abu Dhabi is the second city and the only Middle Eastern venue on a nine nation tour which kicked off in Madrid.

Personally, I am hoping a Saatchi tour comes next. Anyone who has seen one of Maurice Saatchi’s more challenging collections - with old favourites such as the Chapman Brothers, Damian Hirst, and Tracey Emin thrown in - would love to see how Picasso’s siblings thrice removed would go down in the region.

Sponsored by the Tourism and Development Investment Company (TDIC) and Mubadala Development Company, the exhibition runs between May 27-September 4. The exhibition is open 10am-10pm everyday with Tuesdays 10am-4pm reserved for women only.

There will be an informal, multi media evening called Artscape on the 17 June.

For more information you can call 02 6908206.

It’s big. It’s bigger than big.

It’s the Time Out Dubai Restaurant Awards 2008.

You can see our list of winners here.

Have we included your favourite restaurants? Are you angry that we have missed your favourite out? Are we geniuses - okay we know the answer to that one.

This is your chance to comment on the nominations and the winners.