Thursday, September 4, 2008
Posted by will.milner on 4 September 2008 at 03:43 UAE time.

Thousands of concerned Dubai residents and Facebook members have pledged their support to the search for missing South African woman Kerry Winter.

More than 3,000 people have joined the Facebook Group, Help Us Find Kerry and hundreds are expected to join in a search on Friday morning.

Ms Winter has been missing for more than two weeks after disappearing on August 20.

Concerned friends and family will begin the search for Kerry on Friday morning at Mall of The Emirates.

For more information on the search, and to join the Facebook group, please click here.

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Sunday, August 31, 2008
Posted by will.milner on 31 August 2008 at 01:32 UAE time.

Time Out’s film editor, Mark Smith, is on assignment at the Venice Film Festival. He will be writing about the experience for the Time Out blog. Check back for regular updates, film news and first reviews.

A cloud of oestrogen hung like smog over the Lido today as Brad Pitt and George Clooney arrived to promote Burn After Reading, the latest from the genre-resistant Coen Brothers.

Talk at the press conference, where George obligingly signed a copy of Time Out Dubai - albeit with the initials ‘GG’ - instantly turned to the fact that the Jolie-Pitt brood had swelled its ranks by 50 per cent since the last time Brad was in town.

‘The twins are fine,’ was as much as Pitt was prepared to give away at first, although he later joked that he’s willing to donate a couple of kids to Clooney if the 47 year-old bachelor doesn’t settle down soon.

‘Brad and I are getting married today, as it happens,’ replied Clooney. A fine romance indeed.

As for the small matter of the film, it’s a kaleidoscopic identity farce in a similar vein to The Big Lebowski. John Malcovich plays an alcoholic CIA agent who, to the arctic derision of his cheating British wife (Tilda Swinton, dressed like Thatcher circa 86) responds to constructive dismissal by setting about his memoirs.

When a disc containing the embryonic tome washes up in the ladies’ changing room of a Hardbodys gym, a pair of inept, self-obsessed junior managers (Pitt and the sublimely adaptable Frances McDormand) attempt to turn the find to their advantage, first via attempted blackmail, then by shopping it around America’s foes.

The Coens revealed at the press conference that Pitt and Clooney’s characters were written for the actors, an admission which left the latter reeling in mock affront. ‘I believe they refer to the three films I’ve done with them as “The Idiot Trilogy”‘.

It’s true that, like the comparatively dire Get Smart early this year, this is an intelligence flick peopled almost entirely with numbskulls. ‘Hey, that’s a sensitive subject,’ quipped Joel Coen, ‘there’s nothing wrong with being an idiot. Besides, idiots are a big demographic.’

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Thursday, August 28, 2008
Posted by will.milner on 28 August 2008 at 05:10 UAE time.

Time Out’s film editor, Mark Smith, is on assignment at the Venice Film Festival. He will be writing about the experience for the Time Out blog. Check back for regular updates, film news and first reviews.

Any old transit from Venice’s Marco Polo airport, particularly when you hail from the parched sands of the UAE in August, is liable to give the passenger the impression of having embarked upon a new life altogether.

Cool wind through barnet, salt on skin, the obligatory seagull on a buoy - are they stuffed, one wonders, or just stunned by the easy beauty of everything?.

Aboard Emirates airline’s bespoke water limousine, the effect is particularly profound.  Journeying toward the Lido at speed, I channelled Dirk Bogarde in the Lucino Visconti adaptation of Thomas Mann’s novella; except, where Gustav von Aschenbach finds but one beguiling youth and, alas, Death In Venice, I discovered simply youth - my own.

Turns out a young person’s travel card is available, in these parts, to anyone under the grand old age of 29. Hardly surprising, in a city where grannies have been rocking this season’s acid bright Wayfarer sunglasses for some 20 years.

No such luck for Tomas, the ageing protagonist of Nowhere Man, the depressodrama which opened the festival for early arrivers. Trapped in a decent marriage of which he feels entirely unworthy, Tomas spies an escape route and takes it: on the premise of rescuing a dog from the inferno ingulfing his neighbour’s identikit home, he fakes his death and journeys to a tropical island under a stranger’s passport.

The island is, presumably, African, but the Greek strains of ‘Shirley Valentine’ escape fantasy accompany his departure. Where Tomas seeks reinvention he finds only degeneracy - economic, environmental and emotional - and there is bleak humour indeed when his one shot at redemption - rescuing a maimed beachside horse - ends in the mutilation of the hand attempting to feed.

Devoid of waffle, this Belgian production is a masterful, if punishing, revelation. Tomas spends the second half of the film with his injured hand encased in a sinister golfing glove.

Which got me to thinking- since when did a single celluloid glove come to denote danger? Is Kubrick to blame (A Clockwork Orange)? Or maybe Haneke (Funny Games)? On second thoughts, maybe it was ‘Moonwalker’?

Just goes to show, the pursuit of youth, beyond a certain age, often ends in tears…

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Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Posted by will.milner on 27 August 2008 at 02:56 UAE time.

There are two things guaranteed to unite everybody at Time Out Towers.

A Star Wars movie night and a good old fashioned dance off.

Which is why we were delighted when the 400 club announced the Star Warriors night.

Sometimes labeled “Dubai’s most beautiful crowd” 400 club regulars will be taking on an intergalactic appearance this weekend.

The usual “dress to impress” rules apply, but turn up dressed in a Star Wars theme and you could expect to win a prize.

You’re probably more likely to impress as a groovy Han Solo than a Jabba The Hut. But maybe you could pull it off.

Check out the AMAZING video (below) to find out why Chewbacca is the lord of the Star Wars disco.

Should there be more theme nights at Dubai clubs? What would you like to see in Dubai?

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Monday, August 18, 2008
Posted by will.milner on 18 August 2008 at 01:15 UAE time.

There is no dignified way of eating a hot dog when you are lying flat on your back.

However hard you try not to, you will always end up with ketchup in your eyes.

While arguably this is preferable to watching The Mummy III: Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor, it does take some of the shine off the Gold Class cinema experience.

Gold Class is the Cinestar at Mall of the Emirates‘ ultra-comfortable foray into the world of luxury cinema. The fully reclining chairs and direct-to-your -seat-snacks are, along with Imax 3D and al fresco movies, one of the cinematic highlights of Dubai. I just wish they’d hand out bibs.

Until this month Gold Class 1 and 2 were the only cinema screens in Dubai offering filmgoers a luxury option. But the opening of a Grand Class room at Dubai Festival City’s new 14-screen Grand Cinema has put an end to that monopoly.

The idea behind Gold and Grand Class cinema is essentially the same. They are the first and business class flying of the cinema industry. You’re going to the same place and at the same time, but you’re travelling in style. And you are paying a premium to do so.

That premium amounts to a Dhs100 ticket. A lot of money to watch the same film as the paupers in the neighbouring room: but is it worth it? Can a luxury cinema make any film seem passable? Would I, in other words, be able to sit through the impossibly bad The Mummy III: The Tomb Of The Dragon Emperor, a film scorned by Rachel Weisz (she turned down the squillions she was offered to be in it) and critics alike (Time Out gave it a paltry two stars out of seven).

Rarely do I watch a film and consider eating my eyes as a viable alternative. I have a very high threshold for rubbish. I actually liked The Phantom Menace and am not scared away by the words ‘Eddie Murphy movie’.

But don’t forget this is a movie so bad that the actual highlight is the unexplained appearance of some kung-fu yetis. Just when you think that’s as abominable as it can get, they turn out to be friendly and can chat to the 2,000-year-old woman dating Brendan Fraser’s son. It is worse than you can imagine.

Even in Gold Class it is a challenge to sit through this without wanting to shout obscenities. But there is something about the massive leather armchairs that make you sigh and sit back. They pass the S.T.A.R. (Squishy, Table included, Armrests and fully Reclining) test with ease. I may have even heard a snore coming from row three. Not bad considering there was a car chase featuring a flaming firework truck on the screen at that moment. Did I mention the film was terrible?

A comfortable seat does not, of course, a luxurious experience make. So Cinestar offers a special menu to its Gold Class viewers: you order on entry, as you buy your ticket, and grub is brought to your seat during the first 15 minutes (no stage whispering required). Don’t expect wagyu steak and foie gras; more like an enhanced version of the usual cinema favourites, which means cheeseburgers, ice creams and milk shakes.

Not the healthiest options, but, let’s face it, if you’re looking to shed a few pounds the multiplex is not the place to start. A range of hot dogs is available, hence I found myself horizontal and picking onions out of my hair for the duration of the film.

Straight from Gold Class I headed over to Dubai Festival City to see how the newly opened Grand Class would compare. To make the test as fair as possible I picked a week where the calibre of films was similar. To be fair, Tropic Thunder (Grand Class’s movie of the week) is 3,000 times better than The Mummy III. But it does feature flatulence jokes and Tom Cruise in a fat suit, so they’re in the same ball park.

The same, unfortunately, cannot be said about Grand Class, which has the air of a poor relation. Yes, its slightly reclining chairs are better than those of a normal cinema. But they don’t come close to Gold Class. And why no special menu? Admittedly they are throwing in a free tub of popcorn and a fizzy drink with the Dhs100 price tag. But anybody willing to pay so much to watch a film wouldn’t begrudge a few more dirhams to get something nice to eat.

As it is, they have the same options as anybody else would have in the cinema. This does include crepes, which seems like an interesting addition to the usual film fodder. Although I can’t imagine the cheese and chocolate option being very popular.

So, for now Gold Class retains its title: it is the jewel in this city’s cinema crown. But how long before we see the emergence of Diamond Class? For an extra Dhs150 I’d like to see them throw in no-crunch popcorn and maybe a foot massage.

Surely that’s the only way to guarantee a film with a happy ending.

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