I hate being right.
It doesn’t happen often, so I don’t need to worry about it too much. But I was right about Grand Prix.
It is a spectacularly dull sport.
I remember watching a kid at school race spiders. That was like a carnival of entertainment compared to this tedium. Had he have chosen to race wasps he would have at least been approaching the level of discomfort caused by the sounds of the cars. A wasp stuck in a megaphone is the closest I can get to describe the noise trackside.
If I was expecting something more than cars driving round and round a track I don’t remember what it was. Yesterday was only a practice session so maybe the real deal - the big race on Sunday - will be more gripping.
I hope so.
Having said that, the events surrounding the Gulf Air Grand Prix are proving to be a lot more fun. A great social spectacle, even if the sport forces my eyelids to droop.
Step away from the stands and into the Formula One village - a collection of merchandising stalls, live entertainment and fast food vendors - and you can see why Bahrain’s event organisers have been winning plaudits for their efforts in recent years. It is a wonderful set up with a well thought out group of entertainers.
They have to do something to keep people’s minds off how boring Formula One is I suppose.
24,000 spectators attended the opening day celebrations. Remarkable considering that no competitive racing from the Formula 1 drivers takes place until Saturday afternoon’s qualifying sessions.
They’re here for the carnival like celebrations that accompany the Grand Prix.
Having watched the practice sessions and numerous other motorsport trials from the exclusive Paddock Club (a very nice VIP lounge at the Bahrain International Circuit) yesterday, I went for a walk around to find out what else the Grand Prix has to offer.
Turns out there is a lot. Here is my pick of ten of the best things to do at the Grand Prix.
Paintjam: Youtube sensation Dan Dunn is entertaining the Grand Prix crowd with an incredible painting display. I spoke to Dan and found him to be a really nice guy - enjoying his peculiar brand of twenty-first century fame. Unlike many internet sensations Dan actually has a proper talent. Painting. Check out the video which made Dan so famous below and look out for an exclusive interview coming to our friends at ahlanlive.com in a couple of days.
Live music: Soul-Glo are in Bahrain after recently supporting Take That on a popular tour. They are also as funky as 10-inch heels and purple trousers. Early Michael Jackson covers and James Brown renditions got the crowd dancing and grooving. They were occasionally drowned out by the kamikaze whine of a passing car but carried on regardless. A tough gig handled with perfection.
Football Freestyle: Dan Magness is a football freestyler with a difference. Football freestyle - or keepy uppy to give it its proper name - is the art of juggling a football with your legs. Dan is a master of his art and unlike many of the overskilled performes I have seen he looks like he would be strong in the tackle as well.
Breakdancing: Brilliant. Simple as that. The Faction Crew are a UK-based breaking crew who have been dancing at urban events, corporate hospitality galas and festivals around Britain for a while. This was there first show outside of the UK but rumour is that they will be coming to Dubai some time soon. I hope so. Check out the pictures:
People watching: Pit babes in little red dresses, middle aged men braving the 30°+ temperatures in full leather jumpsuits, future F1 stars on the Porsche junior driving track, sleeping spectators, pit babes in little red dresses, hip-hop wannabes in basketball shorts, businessmen on the corporate bandwagon, F1 nerds - every one of them fascinating. Did I mention the pit babes in little red dresses?
Ferrari: Not the drivers Felipe Massa and Kimi Raikonen who recorded the fastest track times at the first day’s practice session. That I really couldn’t have cared less about. But the astonishing collection of vintage and classic cars in the Ferrari showroom was a sign of how great and beautiful the automotive industry can be. Classic Ferraris from the 1960s right up to the present day, with a limited edition Enzo, are without doubt a thing of beauty.
Fireball dive of death: Could this be the secret of entertainment? A former Olympic diver climbing up a ladder, setting himself on fire and then jumping into a small pool of water. I think it might be.
Cool off showers: Forget a car that can drive more than 200mph - the grand prix showed off some genius engineering. Dotted around the merchandising areas were gateways spraying a fine watery mist into the heat. Step under the gate and instant cool Why can’t we get things like this at some of Dubai’s outdoor events?
The silver men: I don’t know who they were, I don’t know what their agenda was but I know they were the most hilarious performers I’ve ever seen in the Middle East. Similar to the Blue Man group. But silver. Mime has never looked so cool.
Crashes: Thankfully nobody was hurt when Lewis Hamilton crashed his car during the practice session. The 23-year old driver was safe and that is the main thing. It was, however, the single entertaining part of the sporting action on show on day one of the racing. This is a very dangerous sport and tragedy does, unfortunately, sometimes happen. But the occasional crash or two does make it watchable. Almost.
