Check out the latest DVD reviews. We've got your night in covered so forget the flicks
Hannah Montana: The Movie
3/5 Dir Peter Chelsom US (GP) Billy Ray Cyrus’s performance in this sporadically amusing if spirit-drainingly formulaic Disney musical recalls the comedian Bill Hicks’s claim that he’s ‘a jar-headed, no-talent cracker a**hole’. It’s true that as an actor, Cyrus is about as expressive as a black sack full of splintered cricket bats. His monumental awfulness, though, is not enough to ruin the movie, and that’s all down to the whip-smart comic energy of his daughter, Miley Cyrus, as gangly high-schooler Miley Stewart, who secretly moonlights as mega-selling tween popstrel Hannah Montana. The story, such as it is, sees Miley spirited away from the phoniness of Tinseltown and back to her birthplace in rural Tennessee where she’s forced to endure jug-band hoe-downs, the longing gaze of an unfeasibly gorgeous farmhand and granny’s hackneyed old-timey witterings. While Cyrus’s droll performance (Miley’s not Billy Ray’s) deserves better material, this is still amply entertaining. David Jenkins Dhs85 at Virgin Megastore.
Jonas Brothers: The 3-D Concert Experience
1/5 Dir Bruce Hendricks US, (GP) From a young fan’s point of view, this 3D presentation of the US boy trio’s popular 2008 gigs at Madison Square Garden delivers in spades. The group’s devoted sub-teen fanbase get to see their Disney-spawned idols Kevin, Joe and Nick up close, on stage, back stage, in interview, mucking about in a Beatles/Monkees style, even being raised from slumber by their trusty forklift truck of a minder. They not only play a wide selection of their hits (at least, we think they’re hits) but also a new song called ‘Love Is On Its Way’. The fans will love it.
So what’s it like from the point of view of an accompanying adult? Have you ever inadvertently thrust your face into a meat processor? We imagine Bruce Hendricks’s film is only marginally less painful. The sound quality is iffy, with so much harsh instrumentation in the mix that one can barely decipher the lyrics – which is probably just as well. Meanwhile, Nick, Joe and Kevin strut their contrived stuff over an expansive, elaborate stage set and pull off every naff pop cliché in the book, while outside sequences show the fans being herded like cattle. These songs wash over in waves of such turgid mediocrity that by the end you’re praying for it to stop. Thankfully, after 76 minutes, it does – and all is well again. Derek Adams Dhs85 at Virgin Megastore.