What’s the best way to deal with a nauseatingly cute trio of Hollywood pre-teens?
1/5 Dir Brian Levant US (G) What’s the best way to deal with a nauseatingly cute trio of Hollywood pre-teens? Deploy them as weapons. Jackie Chan should get some applause for his appropriation of child actors in The Spy Next Door (just watch those kids fly!).
Actually his goofy, slapstick stunts are perfect for children and pretty good fun. As for the rest, this is a lazy spin on the action-veteran-left-holding-the-baby wheeze (Kindergarten Cop, The Pacifier). Chan is the nerdy guy next door, who is dating the little horrors’ mother. But really he’s a Chinese agent on loan to the CIA. It comes with the usual kids’ stuff: wedgies for the boys, adorably skittish pets for the girls. Even the outtakes barely raise a smile. The best of them sees Chan fluffing his lines: ‘I hate English,’ he mumbles. Who can blame him when it’s as grindingly predictable as this?