Time Out ate all the pies to find the tastiest efforts in Dubai
Bidi Bondi's beef pie and mash - Our pick Pie size: Extremely generous, roughly the length of a size-three shoe.
Filling: Tender chunks of beef in a deliciously thick rosemary and onion embellished gravy. Full of flavour, but not too rich.
Pastry: Crisp on the outside and slightly squidgy underneath where it has soaked up the tasty juices. Everything a pastry lid should be.
Accompanying dishes: Mashed potato and gravy – a classic pie accompaniment, which adds to the comfort-food experience.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Mr Darcy: firm and handsome on the outside; a gushing romantic on the inside.
Dhs66. Bidi Bondi, The Palm Jumeirah (04 427 0515)
Nezesaussi's Aussie Rules Mag-Pie Pie size: Pretty impressive. The main belly of the pie is deep and portly, and the huge puff-pastry lid adds plenty of height.
Filling: The thick, meaty gravy is flavourful, nicely seasoned and perfect for dunking, and conceals plenty of juicy chunks of succulent wagyu beef.
Pastry: The flaky puff-pastry lid is impossible to eat without scattering crumbs every which way, but it's well worth the mess.
Accompanying dishes: We're a bit disappointed that the pie is served with a side salad by default, instead of a bowl of fries, but the chef has actually done us a favour: it would be a struggle to eat any more carbs.
The salad is fresh and nicely dressed.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Crocodile Dundee: meaty, rugged and guaranteed to defeat even the hungriest opponent.
Dhs65. Al Manzil Hotel, Downtown Burj Khalifa (04 428 5888)
Rhodes Twenty10's steak and kidney pie Pie size: An interesting, somewhat brave take on the traditional steak and kidney pie. The steak and kidney are served separately; the latter is beautifully presented in a fist-sized pastry package, while the almighty chunk of braised steak sits on the side.
Filling: Traditional and true, it has a home-made feel, and avoids the manufactured taste of some other pies.
Pastry: Thick and well buttered, it's not the crispiest, but holds together well nonetheless. The nice crust is delivered golden brown.
Accompanying dishes: As the pastry and the meat are served separately, the meal is enough for most, although if you can stretch that stomach a few inches more, go for the steak garnish accompaniment (aka onion rings or mushrooms), which costs extra.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Willem Dafoe: handsome and alternative.
Dhs120. Le Royal Méridien, Dubai Marina (04 399 5555)
Lime Tree Café's beef and mushroom pie of the day Pie size: Not too large, not too small – just right. Round, tall and well packed.
Filling: Nice cuts of beef in a good old-fashioned filling.
Pastry: It's a tad on the soggy side, but we're not complaining. There's a nice detail on the pastry, although you can't help but feel a bit guilty seeing an embedded print of an animal as you tuck in.
Accompanying dishes: A rather small sprinkle of leaves that they call a salad.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Jennifer Aniston: golden, warm, and smiley.
Dhs32. Beach Road, Jumeirah (04 349 8498)
Left Bank Madinat's steak and mushroom pie of the day Pie size: Generous to the point that it's almost challenging to finish.
Filling: The pie is positively bursting with filling – strips of beef, rather than cubes, and plenty of thick gravy.
Pastry: Perfectly weighted, light and crispy.
Accompanying dishes: The dish is served with a few steamed vegetables, though considering the size of the pie, you'd do well to finish them.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Brad Pitt: substance and style in equal measure.
Dhs85. Souk Madinat Jumeirah (04 368 6171)
Dubliners' Billy McNeill beef and Guinness pie Pie size: As thick as a brick and twice as wide.
Filling: Packed with cubes of melt- in-your mouth beef, swimming in a hearty ale-infused gravy.
Pastry: Flaky on top and just on the right side of soggy at the base where the gravy juice soaks through.
Accompanying dishes: The crispy thick-cut chips are perfect for soaking up the last vestiges of gravy, while the crinkle-cut carrots, with aubergines and cauliflower, add a welcome touch of lightness to what could otherwise be a seriously dense dish.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Ray Winstone: no-nonsense, burly and down to earth.
Dhs48. Le Méridien Dubai, Garhoud (04 282 4040)
Rivington Grill's chicken leek and mushroom pie of the day Pie size: On first appearances, the pie doesn't look much, but soon reveals itself to be more than a match for even the manliest of men.
Filling: The creamy sauce is piping hot (too hot, perhaps), punctuated by chunky chicken pieces and fresh leeks.
Pastry: Crispy and flaky on top, nice and soggy down below.
Accompanying dishes: The green beans are a healthy balance to this rich and creamy pie treat.
If this pie were a person, it would be… Charlotte Church: chunky and Welsh.
Dhs95. Souk Al Bahar (04 423 0903)