Family budgets in Dubai
It’s difficult to stop spending on your kids, especially in Dubai and particularly at this time of year
• The owner of a newly-opened dancewear shop, Belinda Reardon is mother to Joel, 16, and Khali, 14. Originally from Queensland in Australia, she lives in Mirdif and has been in Dubai for two years.
• Kristen Romain is partners and alliances director for Dow Jones. Her children, Zac and Ella, are aged four and two and she lives with her family in The Lakes. From Australia, she has been in Dubai for three-and-a-half years.
• The newbie in town, Samantha Buxton arrived in Dubai from Henley in the UK just 12 months ago. She is a full-time mum to Charlotte aged eight, and Sophie aged six, and lives in Jumeirah Islands.
• Marketing exec and mum-of-two, Navin Popat lives with her family in Jumeirah Islands has been in Dubai for two years. Her children are Chantelle, 11 and Natalina, aged nine.
What got us talking
With the festive season well and truly here, we’re becoming all too familiar with sentences that start with ‘I want…’ Yep, it gets on your nerves, but who can blame the kids when Dubai is a place that will never relinquish its ‘spend, spend, spend’ mentality? This is a city where many children not only have privileged upbringings, but often vastly over-indulgent ones too. Are you desperately trying to raise decent little Charlie Buckets? Or does your brood have more in common with the ghastly Veruca Salt? We met four mums at Carluccio’s in Dubai Mall for a little indulgence of our own (of Italian coffee and pastries) and talked, ironically,
about learning to say no.
With Christmas on the way, the asking never stops. Where should you draw the line money-wise?
Belinda: Generally, we’ve always said we’ll buy our kids one thing that they really want from Santa. This year Joel is getting a new guitar and it’s going to cost a lot – Dhs5,000 – because of the level he’s at with his music, but he’s waited all year for that, and he’s also a good kid, so I feel it’s justified.
Navin: For us it’s difficult because we follow Eid and Diwali as well as Christmas and birthdays. So when do you stop? It’s like bam, bam, bam. We set a target and try to stick to it. Also, I think it’s important to celebrate the spiritual side of religious holidays.
Samantha: I do try and stick to birthdays and Christmas, and I don’t buy for them throughout the year. They get a little pocket money each week, and I’ve tried to get them to adopt the policy of spend 50 per cent, save 50 per cent, which is quite difficult in Dubai.
Kristen: You’re good! I spoil my kids and when I told my husband the topic we were going to discuss, he just laughed. Because I work and I have the means, I spend money on them. One thing I read recently that really hit home, though, was an article that discussed the psychological effects of spoiling a child. The conclusion was that if you provide too much for them, you take away their ability to anticipate and to get excited about something, which is really sad.
Belinda: There are different types of spoiling, though. There are the parents who buy their kids age-appropriate things like clothes etc, because they think ‘ah, they’ll look cute in that,’ and then there’s the spoiling that happens when parents buy things that are totally over the top and not appropriate.
Kristen: Ah! You make me feel so much better, Belinda!
What are your thoughts on the whole pocket money debate?
Belinda: Some of my children’s friends get Dhs500 per week.
Everyone: No! (gasps)
Belinda: And that has caused massive arguments with us. Dhs500 a week is too much in my book. Khali gets Dhs400 a month – but we always put Dhs50 credit on her and Joel’s phones every month too. Out of their allowance, they have to pay for everything, from getting cabs to the mall to buying their food when they’re out. And we do try very hard to make them stick to that.
Samantha: I give the little one Dhs10 and the older one Dhs15 per week. We provide everything – all the bits and bobs – but I try my best to stick to those amounts. They do get extra if my parents are here. But in terms of age, it is difficult. I mean, when should you start giving them money?
Belinda: The younger they can learn and understand what money is, the better, and from as early an age as possible, right from when they can help you in the shop, by getting the money from your purse and
paying for something.
Navin: Chantelle gets Dhs22 and Natalina gets Dhs15. We set the level by taking their age and doubling it. But as a child, I used to earn all my pocket money from doing the washing up to washing the car,
and it didn’t do me any harm. My daughter said to me the other day; ‘Why do I need to wash the car? The man in the mall will wash it.’
Kristen: But that’s symptomatic of where we are. Everything is done for them here – and it’s not a good thing. Are children particularly spoilt in Dubai? And is it harder for parents to keep a reign on the spending?
Everyone: Oh yes!
Belinda: Some kids at my children’s school are walking about in designer shoes and carrying Louis Vuitton handbags. They’ll be wearing designer watches and Tiffany jewellery – it’s unbelievable! If my daughter ever asks for something like that, the answer is a short ‘no’.
Kristen: I’ll buy cute little clothes, but at four and two, I don’t think kids get spoiled by being given clothes. If they start to demand something in the supermarket that I don’t want them to have, I will put my foot down. And I don’t care if they’re screaming their heads off at the end of it. I won’t give in to that kind of pressure.
Belinda: Yes – you’re right. You have to stick to your guns. And it’s not easy. If you do give in, that’s spoiling, because it’s a child saying ‘I want’ and then getting something through bad behaviour.
Samantha: I think not having your family around does make a difference too. I feel sorry for my girls on their birthdays because they don’t have the showering of presents they normally would do because extended family isn’t around. Because of that, I do tend to buy them more presents to make up for it.
Navin: And there’s huge pressure in Dubai to spend more anyway. The whole lifestyle is so glitzy. The latest gadgets and fashions are all over the place, so I do find the pressure is far more intense than it was at home.
Samantha: I was at a party for eight-year-olds the other day and was totally shocked to see three of the kids had Blackberries! I was horrified. My daughter said to me, ‘Mummy, I don’t even have a mobile phone yet.’ And I haven’t contemplated getting one for her either.
Belinda: She doesn’t need one yet. You pick her up and take her everywhere she goes.
Samantha: Exactly. She’s only asking for it because she thinks it looks hip and cool.
Time Out Dubai,