Tell us a joke We’ve scoured the Time Out newsroom for some jokes for you. Here are 10 to start you off. Can you do better? By Emily McCarrick 31 March 2009 1 Q: Where do you find a one legged dog? A: Where you left it.2 When you have a fat friend, there are no see-saws, only catapults.3 Man to wife: ''Boy, you are getting old, look at all the wrinkles you are getting!'' Wife: ''They aren't wrinkles, they're laugh lines!'' Man: ''Nothing is that funny!!''' SIMILAR ARTICLES Ramadan 2018: Healthy fasting tips to follow 10 people you should never trust 10 disappointing life moments 10 times real life doesn't live up to expectations 4 I keep a lighter in my back pocket all the time. I'm not a smoker; I just really like certain songs.5 Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?A: Three. One to climb the ladder. One to shake it. And one to sue the ladder. 6 Any married man should forget his mistakes - there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.7 Two antennae meet on a roof, fall in love and decide to get married. The service wasn't up to much, but the reception was excellent.8 My Dad used to say 'always fight fire with fire', which is probably why he got thrown out of the fire brigade.9 Q: How many lawyer jokes are there?A: Only three. The rest are true stories.10 About a month ago, I got a cactus, and a week later, it died. I got really depressed because I was like, damn, I am less nurturing than a desert.