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Being a grumpy old man

Rob McCaffrey tells us why everything gets to him

At what age do you turn into a grumpy old man? Whenever it is, I’m there. There are certain things that annoy all of us, such as speed cameras, A/C bills and, of course, Americans (apologies to my American friends). But nowadays I’m even more short-tempered than usual.

As a full-time house husband, I find it’s the little things that really wind me up. The mums who block the classroom door, yakking away to the teacher about little Johnny, completely oblivious to the rest of us trying
to drop our own kids off at school. They have no idea.

Why do people immediately grab their mobile phone when they get into their car? Let’s face it: so many people could do with sticking two hands on the wheel just to give the rest of us a fighting chance. It boils down to respect – or lack of it.

On the TV nowadays, the blurb for the films disappears from the screen before you get a chance to read it. It drives me mad! And why do coffee chains use words such as ‘vente’ and ‘grande’, when all you really want is big, medium or small?

Don’t get me started on the people who double- or triple-park, blocking me in just because they’re too lazy to walk an extra 10 yards to the school gate. And 7.30am school starts in the morning – why? Mums, dads and kids… we’re all knackered!

BlackBerrys, iPods, iPhones… technology to supposedly make your life easier, yet you need a degree in rocket science just to operate them. Estate agents who ring me five times a day asking if I want to sell my house. Those text messages you get saying you’ve won Dhs50 million, as long as you ring a number in Marrakech and leave all your bank details. Films with sad endings. Radio DJs (even though I am one). TV presenters with nose jobs. Rude people. False people. Kids with no seat belts on. The list goes on…

I hate it when the cashier always gives me a paper receipt, even though I’ve only bought a can of Coke.

I don’t want it. You can get rid of it. People in jam-packed bars, who pay for a lemonade with their credit card, forcing the rest of us to wait another 10 minutes while they tap in the number. Queues of all descriptions. Dhs1,000 notes. I always lose them!

It’s sad to say it, but I guess it’s an age thing. And in this case… it’s an old-age thing.

Rob McCaffrey can normally be found ranting in his weekly Sport & Outdoor column. He is occasionally chirpy too.

By Rob McCaffrey

Time Out Dubai, 27 March 2012