The worst-named man in pop wasn’t born with his unfortunate moniker; he willingly adopted it in the mid-’60s to – ahem – sound ‘cool’. This fact alone acts as a microcosm for Humperdinck’s overwhelming antiquity, solidified by the fact he once constructed a fake pub and post box on the estate of his British country mansion.

Now in his mid-70s, Humperdinck’s agent reportedly turned down a recent offer to work with Damon Albarn’s Gorillaz (without Humperdinck’s knowledge). Worryingly, live he’s started covering Bruce Springsteen’s lust-charged ‘I’m On Fire’ (with the refrain ‘Hey little girl, is your daddy home?’), and claims in interviews to possess secret healing powers he uses on his unwitting audience midway through the third number. Yikes.
Dhs500-750. 7pm, Wednesday March 7. Joharah Ballroom, Madinat Jumeirah,