CLAW BBQ chicken wings, McGettigan's ultimate burger challenge and more
Our relationship with fast food has been a love affair that has stood the test of time. From hot dogs at the funfair to tubs of ice cream after a fight with our BFF, it’s been there through the good times and the bad and we can’t get enough. Or so we thought. The food challenges here push the limits of what is humanly possible to consume and test the capacity, stamina and sheer grit of everyone hungry (or daft) enough to take them on. It’s time to put on your baggiest trousers and stick on a bib, if you think you’re hard enough…
CLAW BBQ doesn’t have just one, but two food challenges to get your teeth into – so what’s it going to be, the Inferno or the Beast? Both are a test of strength and endurance, though one will challenge your spice-withstanding capabilities, while the other will test the sheer capacity of your stomach. The Suicide Inferno Wings require participants to finish 12 eye-wateringly spicy chicken wings in a mere 20 minutes. The Beast is a 5.2lb bad boy burgerr topped with lettuce, tomatoes, onion rings and pickles with a side of chilli cheese fries just to tip you well and truly over the edge. You’ll be required to finish the feast in 45 minutes, preferably without any sobbing, screaming or gnashing of teeth (unless it’s around the burger). Those that manage to complete either challenge will get their food for free and be safe in the knowledge that their sheer physical being is something to be marvelled at. Dhs85 (Suicide Inferno Wings), Dhs295 (The Beast). Open daily noon-2am. Souk Al Bahar, Downtown Dubai (04 432 2300).
The Caveman burger at Cook Hall is a 1.5kg monster composed of a 500g beef patty (stuffed with cheese), extra lashings of cheese on top, crispy bacon, guacamole, tomatoes, pickles and a fried egg, all wedged within a massive homemade burger bun. The finished artefact is as big as your head and as you might imagine it’s not for the faint-hearted. The challenge is to polish off the entire meaty brick in a 30-minute timeframe, though while it is delicious, to finish it in half an hour is nigh on impossible. The belly buster is accompanied by a stack of fries, which you’ll also be required to demolish to take the prize. If you do manage to clear your plate, you’ll get the burger for free, as well as a celebratory bucket of hops and two complimentary tickets for The Westin Dubai’s City Brunch in Al Habtoor City. If you weren’t a Neanderthal to begin with, you might just be by the time you’re finished. Dhs119 (for burger) Dhs129 (with fries). Open Sat-Wed, noon-1am; Thu-Fri, noon-2am. The Westin Dubai, Al Habtoor City (04 435 5577).
Copper Dog Monster Monday If the name isn’t enough to put you off, the sight of the mammoth cheese-laden beef burger and stack of chips might do the trick. If you’re still game, then you need your head looking at – or perhaps your stomach. The challenge involves wolfing down Copper Dog’s 1.5kg Monster Burger, a mountain of fries and a pint of cola in under 30 minutes. If you somehow manage to put it away in that timeframe you’ll get the meal for free (and our eternal respect). If you can’t, which, let’s face it, is far more likely, you’ll be coughing up Dhs199 (and perhaps the contents of your stomach). The Monster comprises a 400g beef patty, fried chicken, bacon, avocado, romaine lettuce, fried eggs, Portobello mushroom, tomatoes, jalapeños, sliced cheese, mustard mayo, Buffalo sauce and onion rings in a homemade burger bun, which actually sounds quite tasty, if it was in human-sized portions. As it stands, you might as well eat the thing from a trough. Best of luck! Dhs199. Mondays 5pm-2am. DoubleTree by Hilton Hotel Dubai – Jumeirah Beach, JBR (04 5595355).
McGettigan’s’ Ultimate Burger Challenge
You’d do well to loosen your belt a few holes for this one. The challenge itself is simple, should you choose to accept it. Put away 32oz (around 900g) of meat, bread and cheese in 32 minutes and enjoy champion status (and probable indigestion). The challenge consists of four sets of burger buns, minced beef patties, optional (ha!) streaky bacon, tomato relish, Boston lettuce, red onion, sweet pickle, deep-fried onion rings, cheddar cheese and jalapeño peppers with a side of fat chips and a dollop of coleslaw. If you can polish off the tower of meat within 32 minutes, eternal glory awaits. You’ll get a victory photo and your name listed on the McGettigan’s website as well as getting your meal for free. Fail and you’ll be weighing up Dhs210, plus whatever you’ve added to your body mass index. The current record stands at 29 minutes and 38 seconds, so while it is improbable, it’s not completely impossible. McGettigan’s Pub DWTC manager Cathal Turley advises, “Don’t do it hungry – eat something before it and nibble throughout the day to keep your metabolism going. Women tend to do better than men, they are more strategic about it. The men sort of just launch into it. Make sure you have a game plan.” So, think you’re woman enough? Dhs210. Available at McGettigan’s Madinat, JLT, DWTC and Abu Dhabi, www.mcgettigans.com.
Miss Tess’ Spicy Noodles Challenge Think you can handle spicy stuff? Well, now it’s your time to shine (literally). Quirky Asian street food restaurant Miss Tess is the home of Go Wok Yourself Mondays, whereby hungry (or foolish) diners can take on The Spicy Noodles Challenge. The somewhat distressing experience sees diners presented with what Miss Tess claims to be “the spiciest noodles in the UAE” – a huge bowl of fiery noodles loaded with a ton of fresh chillies. All you have to do (ahem) is finish the entire spice-laden vat within 20 minutes and you’ll get the noodles, and everyone on your table’s noodles, for free, as well as 20 percent off at Miss Tess for a year and your face in the hall of fame.
But there are rules – some of which seem slightly unfair, others pretty much impossible. For though you will be presented with a glass of milk, a glass of ice and a glass of water, to touch them during the challenge would mean automatic disqualification (and subsequent shame). You are also banned from wiping your face at any point during the challenge, and trust us – it will be filthy. Grounds for disqualification also involve vomiting, belching, grunting and groaning. You are, however, allowed to cry. That’s kind of them. Participants can also expect interference as they eat from Super Mario and pals, who will helpfully waft your (gradually reddening) face and dance around you as you sweat. We’d frankly rather have our fingernails prized off than face this again. Dhs78 (wok your way). Mon 7pm-2am. Taj Dubai, Business Bay (04 438 321).
MO’s’ Sundae Challenge Got a bit of a sweet tooth? You’ll need a sweet set of jaws to get through this. The Mo’s Sundae Challenge is excessive to say the least. It’s comprised of eight scoops of ice cream in your flavour of choice, a handful of hefty brownie chunks, four (four) bananas, eight maraschino cherries, lashings of hot fudge and caramel sauce, a heavy-handed scattering of toasted almonds and chocolate sprinkles and an avalanche of whipped cream to top it all off. Finish the “Party Sundae” as it’s been so lovingly coined, in 30 minutes and you’ll get the dessert for free. Win or lose, you’ll get a Mo’s T-shirt for your efforts and your face in the hall of fame… or the hall of shame, more likely. Dhs99. Open daily 8am-11pm. Mo’s, City Walk, Al Safa Street (04 344 3305).
Tackle and Quiz at Nezesaussi Grill Dubai Marina Mondays are a challenge in themselves, so why not push your mental and physical state to their absolute limits and give Tuesday something to moan about? Nezesaussi Grill is challenging diners to tackle a 1.5kg portion of hot and spicy chicken wings, as well as a 1.5L jug of hops, all in under 15 minutes. Manage it, and your mighty meal is on them. Fail and you’ll be forking out Dhs149. DJ Josh Anderson is on hand to test your knowledge in the quiz from 8pm, in case you haven’t faced enough. Dhs149. Every Mon, 8pm-2am. Address Dubai Marina (04 436 7777).
The Blacksmith Smokehouse’s Vulcan challenge The Vulcan is not something you take on, it’s something you become. Peck down eight spicy chicken wings to achieve bird of prey status or attempt to become the leader of the pack by setting the record for the most wings eaten on the trot. Your stomach might be scorched, but you can spread your own wings in a blaze of glory, while looking hard as nails in front of your mates. To create the spicy marinade, The Blacksmith takes its own blend of chillies and mashes them with the HP88b, which is the hottest chilli in the world and known otherwise as the Carolina Reaper. You’ll be given a song to pick at random from a bag and will be required the finish the wings in the time the track plays out, before you can quench the fire in your throat with a vanilla ice cream shake. And with everything from The Prodigy to the Titanic theme tune, each experience promises to be wildly different every time. Safety goggles are required to protect your watering eyes from any stray spices and The Blacksmith, reassuringly, “won’t accept responsibility if you die”. If you do manage to finish it, the wings are free, but take heed, so far the challenge is yet to be completed and the record number of wings eaten stands at just five. The challenge is available to take every night and on Wingin’ Wednesdays you will have the chance to beat the record for most wings eaten. Dhs55. Wednesdays 5pm-2am. Wyndham Dubai Marina, Dubai Marina (04 407 8873).
The Tomahawk steak is probably the most sophisticated of the food challenges listed. For one, you can eat it with a knife and fork, and secondly, if you do manage to eat the lot, you’ll be in with a chance to win tickets for La Perle. The downside is that it will also cost you a hefty Dhs435 regardless of whether you finish it or not, although you’ll probably enjoy it a good deal more than having your head blown off with eye-watering chillies. The challenge consists of a 1.25kg slab of American prime beef cooked to your liking. Take your time over it, ponder its sheer magnificence in size and substance and when you’re finished, hand over your details so you can be entered into a monthly draw to win two tickets to the show. Dhs435. Open Sat-Thu 5pm-2am; Fri 12.30pm-2am. The Atrium, Al Habtoor City (056 503 6230).
No-one does spice like the folks in the Caribbean, so you might want to think twice about taking on the spicy wings challenge at Ting Irie. The scotch bonnet is the chilli of choice at the Downtown restaurant, and the wings are loaded with them. All you have to do is finish a plate of six scotch bonnet wings in six minutes, and you’ll get the wings and your drink of choice for free (not to mention endless bragging rights). Sound easy enough? We’d like to see you try. The challenge runs every Monday and Wednesday during Wings ‘n’ Tings night, where you can feast on seven other (and more edible) flavours including Jamaican jerk, coconut curry and passionfruit. That sounds more like it. Dhs50. Mon & Wed, 5pm-2am. Manzil Downtown Dubai, Downtown Dubai (04 557 5601).
The UBK hot dog challenge dares you to take on the metre-long sausage and finish the lot within 30 minutes. But this isn’t any old dog. It is divided into quartets, each of which is lathered in toppings including mac ‘n’ cheese and pulled beef. It sounds quite appetising – if it wasn’t beyond the realms of human consumption – and we at Time Out Dubai can count it in the list of food challenges we’ve tried and failed. If you do manage to wolf the lot, you’ll get your meal for free.
But that’s not all. For St. Patrick’s Day (March 17), UBK is challenging contestants to finish a metre green hot dog, fries and two green pints. The Hulk Dog can be shared with friends or you can go it alone. It’s more for the craic than the prizes but the kudos among your mates is worth the effort, we feel. May the luck of the Irish be with you. Hot dog challenge: Dhs150. Open daily 12.30pm-2am. Hulk Dog challenge: Dhs170. Sat Mar 17, 12.30pm-2am. Mövenpick Hotel Jumeirah Lakes Towers, Cluster A, JLT (04 438 0000).
Wingsters’ the initiation It sounds like some sort of deplorable task you’d undergo at Eton, and to be honest it’s not that far off. The Initiation sorts the men from the boys, and is guaranteed to put a few hairs on your chest. The challenge sees culinary daredevils take on eight horrifyingly spicy wings in four minutes before enduring a five minute after-burn in a task that teeters on barbarism. There are a number of rules that must be strictly adhered to before the owner or manager declares a verdict. Contestants must eat the meat directly off the bone and fully finish each wing before they start the next and finish all wings before the after-burn period starts. But that’s not all. There will be no consuming of liquid during the eating of the wings, nor for the five minutes after, nor will you be allowed to wipe your face or mouth until the challenge is over. There are no toilet breaks permitted during the challenge and you aren’t allowed any assistance from friends, family, or sympathetic spectators, and believe us, there will be many. Successful contestants will have their wing-smeared mug pictured in the mobster hall of fame and will get their wings for free. Losers will pay Dhs75 and hang their heads in shame. Dhs75. Open daily 11am-2am. Marina Diamond 1, Dubai Marina (04 427 9900).