It’s not always easy being a man. Wait… hear me out. There are certain rules for manliness that every rugged bachelor must abide. For starters, your favourite film must be either Goodfellas or Die Hard. You must have a favourite actress – ideally, Megan Fox – and pictures of her must render you speechless for at least two seconds. It need not be said that you should know a thing or two about sports, and you must exude an air of confidence when stood in front of the BBQ. Lastly, your favourite food must, absolutely and unwaveringly, be steak.

And, for the past few years, the Butcher Shop and Grill has been supplying the necessary manly goods: rudely thick, drooling gobs of steaks so good, neighbouring girlfriends might as well be hat stands in their midst. The first venue was tucked in what we view as a rather unmanly alcove of the Mall of the Emirates (burly boys don’t like to be seen in shopping centres). Fortunately for all involved, the new location at JBR doesn’t entertain any such frivolously girly pastime.

So, what’s changed at the new location? Thankfully, not much. The new outlet has the same chrome colour scheme, as well as a brand new al fresco seating area, ideal for watching the fairer sex wander by (unless you’ve got a massive steak in front of you, in which case you’ll have difficulty concentrating). The food is also just as masculine as we remembered. I was merrily devouring a gooey ball of deep fried camembert, which exploded in my mouth like a hand grenades. My female partner wasn’t quite as enamoured with her sauce-soaked mushrooms au gratin, declaring the blue cheese on top was too overpowering.

By the time my sirloin (medium rare, of course) arrived, my stomach was in a cheesy overdrive and eagerly anticipating the star attraction. The steak hailed from Australia, yet the sauce was a distinctly Saffer mix of BBQ and sweet and sour. The blonde across the table was so enraptured by her Scottish salmon (yes, they do make a small allowance of fish should you be entertaining) that she almost forgot the accompanying roasted sweet potato. Paired with onions and pepper, the salmon quickly disappeared leaving the steaming spud looking lonely until I again picked up the mantle of all-consuming alpha male.

I know what you’re thinking. It’s dessert time and, by rights, there’s nothing terribly macho you can do here, save pouring hideous amounts of alcohol over everything and setting fire to it. Or so I thought, until the restaurant delivered the biggest, most eye-poppingly gigantic chocolate brownie I had ever seen. We didn’t have a chance and as we stumbled out with a doggy bag I could almost hear the chefs laughing at us, before resuming their usual chat about Megan Fox’s impressive acting talents.

The bill (for two)
1x Fried camembert Dhs29
1x Mushrooms au gratin Dhs28
1x Sirloin Dhs75
1x Salmon Dhs72
1x Brownie Dhs20
1x Crème brûlée Dhs18
Service Dhs24.20
Total Dhs266.20