48 things a Dubai expat will never say

Time Out Dubai knows living in Dubai can be frustrating, as well as probably the most fun you can have in the world. Here, we 'celebrate' what winds us up

48 If it paid for roads, hospitals and schools, I would gladly pay tax.

47 There’s a VIP room, but only celebrities are allowed in it.

46 I hope this is ethically sourced foie gras.

45 Knowledge Village really does feel just like being in a village.

44 Next to my building is just empty land, so I’m hoping they construct a new hotel there.

43 I’ve always been comfortable in economy seats, so I’m not bothered about a flight upgrade.

42 I’ve got the setting on my air conditioning just right.

41 Of course there is a difference between a club, a bar and a lounge. But it doesn’t matter, because tonight I want to go to a unique lifestyle concept.

40 To save money, I’m moving to Al Dhaid and will commute into Dubai each morning.

39 I would still have stayed in the hospital for three nights if it wasn’t covered by insurance – it was that serious.

38 I hope there are more tribute bands coming to the city soon.

37 The humidity gives my hair wonderful volume.

36 We’ve holidayed in Rome and it is exactly like the Italy pavilion of International City.

35 We’d probably all get served quicker if we go to the counter at the same time.

34 I’ll go to the airport early so I can have a nice relaxing spa treatment in there.

33 I overheard a fascinating conversation in the cinema today.

32 No, please, you take this taxi and I’ll have the next one.

31 Everything in the fl at was bought from local antique stores.

30 The salad inside a shawarma makes it really healthy.

29 I wonder, does anybody ACTUALLY want to see Instagram pictures of my lunch?

28 I’m starving, let’s go out for evening brunch.

27 I couldn’t eat another thing.

26 Shut the door, you’re letting a breeze in.

25 It’s only half a mile away, shall we just walk there?

24 I don’t think I really want to eat all I can eat.

23 You better buy that Ted Lapidus suit now or the 70 percent sale will end soon.

22 I hate the way it gets dark early in the winter.

21 Water taxis are a really clever, cost-effi cient way to get to work.

20 It’s raining out, you’d better get the washing in.

19 What type of meat is in this meat shawarma?

18 I’m so happy the Metro Green Line opened and made Al Qusais more accessible.

17 Slow down, that pedestrian is about to cross the road.

16 Let me give you my address.

15 The lift takes 30 seconds to get here, but it carries me to the 45th fl oor, so I’m happy to wait.

14 The real estate agent worked so hard to find this place for me, so I’m happy to pay the commission.

13 What we really need is another celebrity chef to open up a restaurant here.

12 If we get too hot, we can always have a dip in the Creek.

11 The apartment is near a garbage chute, but you can’t smell a thing.

10 You can totally tell that Palm Jumeirah is shaped like a palm tree when you’re walking along the Golden Mile.

9 Shall we go for a drive out to one of the smaller towns outside Dubai today?

8 The bus stop outside my house is really convenient. I use it all the time.

7 Tell me again about your business start-up idea, it sounds fascinating.

6 We bought a place off-plan a few years ago and it looks just like the artist’s impression.

5 I like it, but do you think it might be a bit too fancy?

4 I only eat foods that are in season.

3 If you come and visit, I’ll find a nice comfortable two-star hotel for you to stay in.

2 I had a fascinating conversation with our neighbour in the lift tonight.

1 If we miss the Metro we could always walk to the next station.
Will Milner is a regular contributor. He listens in on conversations.

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