If I could take one thing to a desert island it would be a strong Wi-Fi connection.
And it’s because of videos such as this one (as well as SOS emails and Google Maps coordinates) that that would be my number one choice.
You may have watched insane freestyle football footage on YouTube before or witnessed it live outside a stadium but this one trumps all of those beautiful shenanigans for its superlative surprise factor.
Shot in Deira’s Gold Souk in Old Dubai, the video kicks off with a couple of footy freestylers having a play around in one of the market’s central squares.
As passers-by slowly start to gather around them in greater numbers, a spectator dressed in traditional Middle Eastern attire steps in, interrupts them and steals the show with some mind-blowing skills, in another league to his predecessors.
The crowd cheers him on and films his acrobatic ‘keepy uppies’ with their mobile phones, only for the show to be ground to a halt again, this time by a woman in an abaya carrying grocery bags.
She takes off her sunglasses as the multitude watches, wondering if the man is her husband and he’s about to get a good hiding.
Instead, she kicks off her own freestyle fiesta: stepovers, crossovers, toe bounces, Around the Worlds and other moves we couldn’t identify in an online freestyle football glossary.
Watch and learn. It’s too late for us, so do us proud.
Local sports centre FC Dubai released the video on Monday.
In case you were wondering who the mystery woman is, it’s none other than World Freestyle champion Melody Donchet in disguise.