Sometimes it’s hard moving to a new city. Becoming just another face, another somebody nobody even notices. But what if there was a place you could go? A place where everybody knows your name…?
Okay, they’ll soon know your business, your foibles, and remind you if you stayed for a half hour too long the other Wednesday. But maybe that’s what you miss. People to chastise you for your minor wrongdoings. A barmaid you can bore with the details of your latest faux pas.
A landlord who will put aside his better judgment to reassure you that, yes, your boys will win the title this year, despite the fact that your main striker wouldn’t know the way to goal if you showed him a map, your speedy, Jonah Lomu-style winger is allergic to whitewash or your opening batsman is seemingly aiming for a collection of ducks larger than all the wood-chipped walls of 1970s Britain.
If a friendly face, a knowing nod or some simple cud-chewing session is what you crave then welcome to your new local…