Friday Midnight Brunch at Noir

A bar brunch that is just Dhs219 for women

Friday Midnight Brunch at Noir
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2015
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When is a brunch less of a brunch and more of a ladies’ night? When it’s at Noir.

The Midnight Friday Brunch at this Kempinski Hotel Mall of the Emirates bar runs every Friday night from 8pm until, unsurprisingly, midnight, making it the ideal alternative to daytime dining – whether you can’t face dragging yourself out of bed before midday or if you just want to make the most of your afternoon in the sun.

Set in the Mall of the Emirates (therefore not ruling out a post-shopping-spree dinner), Noir’s brunch takes place both indoors and on the terrace outside. Inside is, aptly, dark and moody, with large sofas, a long bar and low tables. It’s glitzy, possibly erring on the tacky side, but well-kitted out. Outside is equally loungey, with comfy seating and a large fireplace.

The deal is simple – Dhs215 for women, Dhs315 for men (sorry, gents). And though that’s still not a bad deal for the lads, it’s because of this that it becomes in essence just a ladies’ night – not that we’re complaining, it’s a cracking deal for four hours of unlimited drinks.

Ninety percent of guests on our visit are women, making it a good place to catch up with your mates in a quiet environment. Don’t expect any swinging from the chandeliers or impromptu dancing, this is not on the party brunch scale. The bar is quite swanky, and people are dressed accordingly, so it’s also a good opportunity to give those new threads an outing.

The vibe, décor and deal are great, and the drinks selection is decent too, with a selection of mixed drinks and grape.

So it’s a shame, then, that things take a downturn when it comes to the actual brunch aspect. Service is painfully slow to start, though picks up pace as the brunch goes on – which is when we work out that courses are coming out at the same time for each table, so it’s a case of waiting for the slowest in the group (not necessarily your own group, however).

Although it’s not really worth the wait in terms of food, a meagre selection of bar snacks turns up throughout the evening – so if you’re after a decent and filling meal on a Friday evening then you’ll want to book somewhere else.

Of the bunch of bites that arrive a petite wagyu slider is probably the best option, though the bun is a tad dry, while a chicken skewer isn’t bad either.

Patatas bravas are tasty, doused in a tangy, spicy tomato sauce, and we enjoy the whole mini skin-on potatoes. Lamb chops are overly fatty, citrus fish and prawn ceviche is an odd choice for the setting and the tempura is fine, albeit nothing special.

We’re sure the desserts would be much of the same, if they’d ever turned up.

A gastronomic feast it’s not.

If you’re looking for a foodie brunch then swerve this offering from Noir, but if you’re after a low-key catch up at a decent price for women, then this isn’t a bad Friday night option, nor for that matter, a great one.
Dhs215 (ladies), Dhs315 (men). Fri 8pm-midnight. Kempinski Hotel Mall of the Emirates Dubai, Al Barsha (04 409 5999).

WHAT IS IT...
A bar brunch that is just Dhs219 for women

WHY GO...
For decently priced, unlimited drinks on a Friday night

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