Jumeirah Jane's tips

Our yummy mummy answers your parenting questions

Chubba mumma
I put on a lot of weight over the holidays and haven’t stuck to my resolution to diet. Now the year is in full swing, and I feel like a big fat slummy mummy failure. Help!
Name, Address supplied

Jane says: Darling! (blows an air kiss and puts her crystal-encrusted iPhone back into her Birkin so she can chat) You have come to the right person! Number one rule is to forget the fad diets and take drastic action. Namely, arrange a party. And not just any old party but one to which you’ll invite your hottest, yummiest, skinniest and most intimidatingly fashionable friends. Book the date two weeks ahead and let the fear of public humiliation do the rest. With a big event to plan, you’ll happily toss away those cupcakes in favour of carrot sticks and fresh air. Plus, the additional stress of planning perfect menus, redecorating the house and hours manically shopping for favours, shoes, new furniture etc (not to mention the exhausting beauty treatments) will see the pounds melt away. If you’re still struggling one week in, don’t panic. Visit a friend who has flu and make sure you take it home with you. Friends of mine have dropped several dress sizes in a week fighting their flab with flu. It’s the new colonic irrigation. And don’t thank me darling. After all, what are friends for? MWAH!

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