1 House cats
Do you know who created the unreleased deep house remix of Danny Speng’s ‘Patio’? These guys do. They know every sub-genre of house back to front and can tell you categorically why the one you like is rubbish. But give them a good 4/4 beat in Chi Garden and they’ll put their claws away and start dancing.
Whenever Chi Club is playing hip-hop, R&B or dubstep, you’ll find these guys swarming onto the dancefloor looking for honeys. And despite their unfairly harsh reputation, R&Bees are perfectly fine unless provoked (much like most other species).
3 Mad ferrets
These indie kids like to say they’re on the cutting edge of music, but you’ll often find them pogoing to old-school classics such as Blur’s ‘Song 2’. Woo hoo! There are no guitars for them at Welcome to the Zoo, but they’ll manage to have fun anyway. And why are they called that? Because, much like the Gallagher brothers, they’re ‘mad fer it’.
4 Lounge lizards
You’ve seen these guys out and about often enough. Slicked-back hair, sharp suits (Dhs100 specials from Karama) and a sly smile are standard issue as the lounge lizards mooch about the city’s clubs. They’ll typically bask at a table in a corner, trying to entice their prey with bottles of bubbly.
The female version of the lounge lizard, the cougar is dressed up, on the town and ready to pounce.
Tottering about on high heels, handbag clasped to chest, peering haplessly around the club: the meerkat looks forever lost in the sea of bodies. What does she want? Where are her friends? How on earth does she stand up in those ridiculous shoes? These are just a couple of the questions that cross the casual observer’s mind before she wobbles off into the night.
The emphasis is on the second syllable. Peacocks don’t really care about music, dancing or having fun – all they want to do is strut around in their newly bought clothes so other partygoers can marvel at them. Note their regal but faintly unhappy air.
8 Lone wolves
In town on a 12-hour layover, the lone wolf is looking to have some fun in Dubai but doesn’t know anyone here. You’ll see him or her stood at the bar, looking slightly lost and alone – and probably not wearing fancy dress. Why not go over and say hi? Unless you’re in a hen party…
9 Hen parties
Beware! Feathers fly when there’s a hen party about. Nothing is more terrifying to a single male – particularly if you’re a lone wolf – than a rowdy brood of hens. Luckily they usually congregate on the dancefloor away from individuals.
Clinging to walls and furniture for safety, limpets aren’t natural dancers. But give them an hour or two to pluck up their courage and you may be surprised.
These DJs will make sure the Chi dancefloor stays wild.
In Chi Garden
Jimmy van M: This Belgian-born prog house and techno DJ is also known for downtempo tracks, but we’re betting that he’ll keep it hyped up and accessible on the night.
Danny M: No relation, apparently. Danny will be playing lashings of funky, commercial house with percussive accompaniment from his accomplice, Armin.
In Chi Club
Nickie Cartel: London boy Nickie has a hot selection of commercial R&B and hip-hop (though probably not jungle, which is a shame given the theme of the night) at his fingertips. He’s been known to throw in house and pop, too.
DJ John: One of Chi’s regular DJs, John will be backing up Nickie with more prime urban cuts to keep Chi’s interior rocking.