Do some glam jogging
Keeping those lungs in shape is an important job when you’re a world-travelling music star, so exercise can only be a good thing – even in a city as sedentary as this one. But who wants to look horrible when they sweat? Nobody, that’s who. Thankfully Juicy Couture offer diamond-encrusted tracksuits for those who want to look great even when they feel awful. Then again, who wants to exert themselves in this growing heat? If you’ve got the money Elton has, you can pay someone to jog up and down Jumeriah beach for you, while you sip on a cool drink.
Dhs649 from Juicy Couture, Mall of the Emirates (04 341 1259), open Fri-Sat 10am-midnight, Sun-Thu 10am-11pm
Visit the most OTT bar
Elton excels at two main things: writing fantastic pop songs and being outrageously flamboyant. Sure, he’ll probably be rocking a sharp suit when he plays Dubai, but he’s been known to go all-out at big events. So where better than Dubai’s latest venue for the uber-rich, Gold? Located in The Monarch Dubai, this bar lives up to its name with gold wallpaper, gold ceilings and a 24-carat gold floor (presumably coated with something to stop it denting) in the VIP area. It’s all candle-lit, of course, lest anyone be blinded. We’re sure Elton will feel right at home – it’ll remind him of all the gold records he has.
Gold, The Monarch Dubai (04 501 8888),open daily 10pm-3am, entry Dhs1,000 men, Dhs500 ladies
Dine in glamour
Once he’s finished lounging around in Gold, Elton will be able to move next door (courtesy of a limousine, we’re guessing) to The Fairmont for a little late supper. There, he’ll be able to chill out in the ludicrously glittery surroundings of Cavalli Club, the bar that taste forgot – in terms of looks and food. But it doesn’t matter that the meals are average; pretty much all of his senses will be overwhelmed by his surroundings: animal-print chairs, crystal chandeliers and sparkly drapes abound. If Elton wants a slice of Dubai-style crazy glamour, Cavalli Club will serve it up with a smile.
Cavalli Club, The Fairmont (04 332 9260),open daily noon-2am
Invest in flower power
During a legal dispute with the famous London accountancy firm PriceWaterhouseCoopers in 1997, Elton famously revealed that he spent just under £30 million [Dhs166 million] in two years, including £293,000 [Dhs1.6 million] on flowers alone. When asked in court whether spending that much on flowers was even possible, Elton replied, ‘Yes. I like flowers.’ And how can you argue with that? The answer is, of course, that you don’t. Instead, you take him down to Dubai Plant Souk, which has everything a floraphile could want, from flowers to cacti and trees. Then again, the tankers of International Village sewage that surround the place on occasion might put him off…
To get there, drive past DragonMart on Hatta Road, turn right at the big roundabout and then left at the next one towards Warsan
Elton will be joined by jazz-rock pioneers Santana. Here’s the skinny on frontman Carlos Santana.
Twentysomething readers will most likely know Carlos Santana for ‘Smooth’, the 1999 single he made with Matchbox Twenty’s Rob Thomas, but his first top-10 hit was 1969’s ‘Evil Ways’. An interest in Indian spiritualism led Carlos and his then-wife, Deborah, to become devotees of guru Sri Chinmoy in 1973. However, he kicked Chinmoy to the curb after the guru placed too many restrictions on Carlos’s life, including a ban on having children.
Carlos has a pretty diverse collection of fans, including Prince and Metallica’s Kirk Hammett. Ethics mean a lot to Carlos – so much so that he refused two separate performance requests from then-president Bill Clinton, because he thinks politicians are not to be trusted. We’re not sure he’s wrong.