In many ways these plucky gals are the crowning glory of major-label puppeteered pop. Frankie and Rochelle started their journey as singers in S Club Juniors/8, the brainchild of 19 Management, when they were both 12 years old. Now look at them. They’ve graduated to The Saturdays, a sexified, slightly less saccharine girl group with four UK Top 10 singles to their name. At 21, they’re old pros, plus Frankie dates Dougie from McFly and Rochelle is moving in with Marvin from JLS. Squeal! It’s just too poplicious to bear!
Vanessa (husky quaverer, collaborated with Master Shortie), Una (plays guitar, papped re-enacting the lake lift scene in Dirty Dancing with her rugby boyfriend – topless) and Mollie (three As at A-level, plays guitar, X Factor 2005 reject) complete the group, who release their third mini-album this week.
As releases go, this one is pretty pointless. A beefed-up Starsmith mix of ‘One Shot’ reappears from last year’s Wordshaker alongside two of their biggest hits, ‘Ego’ and ‘Forever Is Over’, both solid, ceiling-shattering pop with a side of synth. But songs like ‘Karma’ – sample lyric: ‘I hope you choke on some really hot coffee’ – and ‘Died in Your Eyes’ are flaccid filler.
Heavy on the production sheen and Auto-Tune, they lack the cheekiness of Girls Aloud and the testy soul of the Sugagbabes (circa ’05). One can only assume The Saturdays must be under contractual obligation to drop a full-length every single year, and while attention spans are short these days, if they left it another eight months we’d certainly still remember them on their return.