DJs do battle in Dubai

Dubai's most popular house DJs go head-to-head. Time Out pulled up a pugh to watch, fancy joining us to catch the results?

DJ feature

After a sophisticated opening set in Chi Lounge last week, House Proud will be dancing out into Chi Garden this Friday, to find out the heavyweight house music champion of Dubai. Record Boxing will consist of three 90-minute rounds and six Dubai DJs, each going head to head against their nearest rival in a specially constructed boxing ring. A panel of three judges will then declare the winner, based on technical ability, track selection and fancy footwork. Time Out talked tactics with the contenders ahead of the big night.

Round One

John Spoor vs Richard

John Spoor

What do you play?
Anything from sexy, soulful house to funky a** shakin’ jackin’ beats.

What’s your knockout track at the moment?
‘Greenskeepers’ by Disco Swing.

What are your other winning secrets?
Eating and drinking on a daily basis – as much as possible, even when I’m sleeping.

What will you run into the ring to?
Anyone who knows me realises that I don’t do running, especially at the moment as I have a cast on my right leg so something like ‘Walk Like a One-Legged Egyptian’ would be quite apt.

Will you be wearing a shiny dressing gown?
Only if it’s got thousands of sequins on it.

What’s your fighting get-up?
Horseshoes in my gloves and I might get my plaster cast extended to cover my whole body.

Have you done any training for this competition?
I’ve been eating and drinking for 33 years now so I think I’m ready.

What have you got to say about your opponent?
Grrrrrrrrrr.

Why have you been pitted against each other?
We are of one mind when it comes to a love of quality house music.

Are you going to win? Why?
Naturally, because Richard’s got too much love in him at the moment, having just got engaged. I’ll be taking full advantage of that to throw him off guard with some bodyrocking funky house hooks

And how will you redeem yourself if you lose?
Hire Don King as a new manager who will instantly organise a rematch worth billions of dirhams.

Richard Round

What do you play?
I play soulful, uplifting house.

What’s your knockout track at the moment?
Jamie Lewis’ ‘Change’.

What are your other winning secrets?
Sabotage John’s headphones.

What will you run into the ring to?
Everyone will say ‘Eye Of The Tiger’ so... ‘The Power’ by ‘Snap!’.

Will you be wearing a shiny dressing gown?
If one is provided, why not.

Have you done any training for this competition?
Trained in the Traxsource gym.

What have you got to say about your opponent?
John’s got lovely knees when they’re working, but old age comes to us all...

Are you going to win?
You’ll have wait and see.

And what will you do if you lose? How will you redeem yourself?
I’ll buy everyone a drink, but I ain’t going to lose.

Round Two

Julian Jinx vs Matt Charles

Julian Jinx

What do you play?
Tech house.

What’s your winning secret?
Go commando.

What will you run into the ring to?
‘Theme From Rocky’.

Have you done any training?
I’ve been eating a lot of Nando’s and watching Nurses Get Nasty, Part 3.

What have you got to say about your opponent?
It’s a grudge match between me and Matt Charles: he babysat my cat and when I got home it had lipstick on. A week later she was pregnant. Coincidence? I don’t think so...

Why have you been pitted against each other?
Because I look like Rocky and he looks like Rocky’s wife.

Are you going to win?
Win? I probably won’t even remember being there.

Matt Charles

What do you play?
I play for keeps!

What’s your knockout track at the moment?
System 7’s ‘Space Bird (Dubfire Deep Space Remix)’.

What are your other winning secrets?
Sabotage, nothing hits home better than a well placed spilt drink.

What will you run into the ring to?
Tina Turner’s ‘Simply The Best.’

Will you be wearing a shiny dressing gown?
Yes. I always wear a shiny dressing gown on a Friday.

Have you done any training for this competition?
I’ve not showered for three weeks in an attempt at first round knock out.

What have you got to say about your opponent?
He tries his best.

Why have you been pitted against each other?
Because my devilish good looks and charm are an interesting juxtaposition against his obviously limited social skills and grotesque physical appearance.

Are you going to win? Why?
Yes. Because I am.

Do you have a special celebratory dance ready for when you win?
Yes, the Ali shuffle which, for the record, I taught Ali.

And what will you do if you lose? How will you redeem yourself?
Losing is not an option, I’m too pretty to lose.

Round Three

TJ Stafford vs Gregory House

[Gregory House was unavailable for comment. A mean person would say he must lose by default. Another would suggest he’s very clever and doesn’t want to give away his tactics.]

Tony ‘TJ’ Stafford

What do you play?
Funky house.

What’s your knockout track at the moment?
Grant Nelson’s ‘Seasons of Jack’.

What are your other winning secrets?
Constant jabs of uplifting house followed by a classic uppercut to raise the roof.

What will you run into the ring to?
Junior Jack’s ‘Stupid Disco’ [sings: “Baby make your move, step across the line.”]

Will you be wearing a shiny dressing gown?
No, it’s at the dry cleaners.

What’s your fighting get-up, then?
Skin-tight Speedos and a Lycra vest.

Have you done any training for this competition?
Yeah, 20 lengths of the jacuzzi every day.

What have you got to say about your opponent?
Respect to Gregory House, he must have been good to make it to the final round. Good Luck, you’ll need it.

Why have you been pitted against each other?
We’re similar heavyweights of house.

Are you going to win? Why?
Of course, I’m heavier than him and I have longer reach!

Do you have a special celebratory dance ready for when you win?
No, only the renowned ‘Foghorn’.

And what will you do if you lose? How will you redeem yourself?
Congratulate Gregory and get him a few drinks!

Home Chi on Friday 8, 9pm-3am, free before 10.30pm, free for ladies and guestlist before 12 midnight, Dhs100 after.

You'll still need to fork out a lot of dirhams to catch the beauty talk

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Prepare for a 5km and 13km course at Dubai’s Jebel Ali Racecourse next month

HiU messenger is available for download for Etisalat customers

Get deals at restaurants including Zheng He’s and Palace Downtown

You’ll also get discounts at spas, bars and restaurants

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