Cardinal and Burns interview

Stand-up comedians Seb Cardinal and Dustin Demri-Burn on their comic show

Time In

As the topical sketch show Cardinal Burns returns to TV screens for a second series, Time Out takes a back seat as the programme’s stars interview each other.

Stand-up comedians Seb Cardinal and Dustin Demri-Burns’ Bafta-nominated TV sketch series pokes fun at everything from reality-scripted series The Hills and Made In Chelsea to the office flirt and East London cabbies. Here, the hilarious duo attempt to put each other under the spotlight.

Cardinal grills Burns

Have you ever cried after a gig?
‘Yes. At Reading Festival, after playing to a lunchtime crowd of half a dozen or so teenagers who booed at us as we tried to get them to chant ‘vuvuzela’ while dressed as Desmond Tutu.’

Do you follow fashion? How would you describe your ‘look’?
‘My style is classic sketch gent with a hint of the Algerian Riviera.’

Who would play you in Dustin: A Biopic?
‘It would be a toss-up between Daniel Radcliffe, Dustin Diamond and Morgan Freeman. Or we may use a combination of all three.’

If you made a solo sketch show what would you call it?
‘There’s no ‘if’ about it. It’s called The Burns Unit.’

In series two, I noticed that you have your top off in every sketch that I don’t appear in. Can you explain why? I don’t remember that being specified in the scripts.
‘After the first series aired I received literally thousands of letters from fans demanding that I just be more topless. I really couldn’t let them down could I.’

Burns grills Cardinal

What would you say is my most unappealing habit?
‘You once went through a phase of eating tinned tuna in our confined writing space. I didn’t mention it at the time but it made me sick. I hated you for that.’

Why is it that, when we write together, I always do the typing, while you dictate to me, lying on a chaise longue, wearing an eye mask, often eating shellfish?
‘I suppose it is odd that I’m on a chaise longue eating langoustines while you’re sitting on your beanbag eating tuna out of a tin. But I’ve always been impressed by your typing: 35 words per minute! This year, if you push yourself, there’s a chance you could make it to 40.’

What advice would you pass on to the budding sketch performers out there?
‘I wish I had received this advice when I started: choose your comedy partner wisely and make sure they can type.’

Do you think that you could have performed any of the characters I play better than me?
‘No, I think you do racial stereotyping very well.’

What will you do if or when this crazy rollercoaster ride comes to an end?
‘I’ll be reclining on my chaise longue of course, writing my memoirs, A Cardinal Sin.’
Series one, Dhs74 at

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